It gives me great pleasure to feature my first guest contributor. I studied Alexander Technique to help me with my fear of speaking in public and Imogen Rangone has kindly offered to write a series of blog posts to help shy, reserved and introverted entrepreneurs understand and learn how to better deal with those fears. I believe you will find these posts helpful and you might even feel inclined to look into Alexander Technique. Please read and leave Imogen and I a comment.
Imogen Ragone is a teacher of the Alexander Technique in Wilmington, Delaware. The Alexander Technique is a thoughtful method for relieving the pain and stress caused by everyday misuse of the body, from the way we sit at the computer to the way we present ourselves at a business meeting. Imogen came to the Technique as a practical solution to chronic neck pain and tension, but found it gave her so much more, including increased energy, self-confidence and enjoyment of life.
Website: www.imogenragone.com
Blog: www.imogenragone.net/blog
Facebook: www.facebook.com/IntelligentBody
Twitter: www.twitter.com/ImogenRagone
For those of us who are shy or reserved – for the introvert – speaking in public (in fact doing anything we feel “exposes” us) can be very scary indeed! And that doesn’t necessarily mean speaking to a big room full of people, it could be simply introducing yourself to someone new at a party or networking event, or making a phone call.
So, what do we experience that tells us we’re scared? Tension? Shallow breathing? Dry mouth? Sweating? Heart pounding? Can’t think straight? What we’re experiencing is the fight, flight or freeze response – the dreaded three Fs! The trouble is, our body doesn’t distinguish between a truly frightening situation – a lion about to attack – and making conversation at a party!
When Louise first asked me to be a guest contributor to her blog, giving Alexander Technique tips for calming the nervous system I was delighted, and mentally started to think of tips to do with breathing, being grounded, etc., etc. However, after a discussion with my friend and psychotherapist, Miriam Granthier, I decided that it would be most useful to start with understanding what our body is doing when we experience the 3 Fs!
Maybe the experience goes something like this (imagined internal conversation):
- Oh no, I can’t breathe, and my mouth is all dry.
- I can’t let this happen now, I must relax now!
- I’m so stupid, why can’t I just relax!
- I have to RELAX right NOW!
- I can’t think what to say, OMG I have to RELAX!
- Now I’m trembling, if only I could just RELAX!
And so the situation, or rather our reaction to the situation, escalates from bad to worse.
Instead, next time you’re experiencing fight, flight of freeze, I suggest trying a different, more accepting approach:
- First Pause (important Alexander Technique principle)
- Notice what’s happening, without judgment.
- Talk to yourself! - internally, of course! Remind yourself that this is just your body, and it can’t distinguish between a lion about to attack and being nervous. Maybe your internal conversation goes something like this:
- “Oh yes my neck is tight and my palms are sweating – that’s because my body thinks a lion is about to attack, but there is no lion.”
- “There is no lion!” As you get more experienced, you could come up with a single phrase to remind yourself – maybe “there is no lion!” (A rephrasing of a colleague’s suggestion, “There is no Tiger!“
Understanding our body’s response is important, and accepting it goes along way – that alone will help lessen the fear response. It’s also useful to remember excitement creates a lot of those same physiological responses. Maybe we could reframe the feeling from fear to excitement for ourselves. And, whatever the situation, it will help if you remember to pause, notice, accept and remember “there is no lion!”
