11132370_sThis post might be one of the longest I have ever written. I pride myself on being an open book. Yet there are times where that’s harder.

Especially where others are involved.

This morning I read a post by another astrologer, Astrolore’s Open Hearted Explanation. It inspired me to write my own story of change, pain and transformation through the Uranus/Pluto square.

This has mainly come through my daughter.

For those who understand some of the astrology my daughter was born on Nov 2 1997 at 4.30am in Derby, England. I know she will no longer mind me sharing all this. Because she is coming out of her terrible time.

The Uranus/Pluto square has basically been sitting on all my daughters angles for much of the last 3/4 years. Astrologers will often have differing views on ‘orbs’. This means how far the transiting (where the planets are now) planets are away from the affected spot in the natal chart. But I clearly see that my daughter was starting to feel this back in 2012 and even 2011 - when there was a ‘near miss’ between Uranus and Pluto. The fall of 2011 is when she feels her depression began.

But the energies really started to kick in in the middle of 2013 when she was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. She had, however, been coming to this. She had been depressed for months. No longer the bright happy girl I gave birth to. Years of ill health of one kind of thing or another were taking their toll. ‘Glue Ear’ as a child. Her respiratory tubes were almost completely blocked. And Sleep Apnoea - her Dad and I used to lie awake counting between each breath. She had tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy and tubes at 3 years of age. And tubes again at age 7. And there was also the severe anaemia. Looking back there was more. She developed anxious habits around age 10. Gradually her bright spark dimmed.

And then it escalated.

After the PCOS diagnosis my mother instincts kicked in. I KNEW there was more to this.

And we went on a voyage of discovery. Uranus was on her 7th house cusp and therefore opposite her Libran Ascendant. Affecting her significant relationships and also who she is in the world. Pluto, sitting close to the bottom of her chart, was squaring her Ascendent/descendent. Doing what Pluto does, excavating the hidden, what we hadn’t seen before. And Uranus was bringing the shocks and surprises and awakenings in terms of her health and self concept. And how she is in the world.

And Pluto was transiting the early part of my first house and, therefore, opposing my own seventh house of significant relationships. And Uranus transiting my third house. I was to become her voice for this period. Because she lost her own. I had to radically (Uranus) change my communication methods. I am British. We don’t speak up against authority (Doctors etc). That had to change as we sought to get to the bottom of her health issues.

And also, I have Cancer, the sign of the mother and emotions, ruling my own seventh house of significant relationships. All this was to change how I mother. For much of the Uranus/Pluto time - especially the last squares - Cancer has been the place in our charts where we must look to change the most. The unoccupied part.

Except on the Cardinal Grand Cross of late April 2014. Which was about exactly when, after test after test including an MRI for a pituitary tumor and after she went from130lbs to 104lbs in a very short space of time, we discovered my daughter has Celiac disease.

And the links between Depression and Celiac disease are strong. And Celiac is a very difficult disease to get a diagnosis for. Very much in the shadow. And Pluto loves to bring up the shadow.

Some things improved after we removed gluten but the depression didn’t go. We tried Prozac and she had rages like never before in her life. Apparantly a common side effect especially in teens. So we stopped that.

Then we moved interstate. And then we moved again. Twice in 6 months. Then her bf of two years ended their relationship suddenly (Uranus - shocks and sudden endings). Then she got told that she is also severely pre-diabetic and must now also give up sugar. And we headed towards the final Uranus/Pluto square with Uranus conjunct her Saturn and Pluto squaring.

And Eclipse Season to boot.

And she broke down.

My daughter spent 10 days in a Psychiactric Unit because she was a danger to herself.

You will be glad to know that it seems to have been a real turning point. The new meds she is on are working and she is finally really tackling her health in a wholistic manner.

But what about me? I have had to change my approach to mothering my daughters. I have had to change my whole, rather controlling views on modern day medications. I resisted anti depressants and the like so much. I see where I have been the stern parent often even though I truly in my heart am a big mushy ball of nurture. I am learning to release the Capricornian control that is my Capricorn rising with Saturn conjunct. I am learning to transform how I parent. I am also learning the strong lessons about how important my home and family really are to me.

And that it’s really not time for my business to get ‘big’. I will be offering limited times for readings from now on and focussing on my group program. I have received huge downloads that helping people to utilize Astrology to help them be MINDFUL of the energies at all times is my real passion. I love a deep reading but living in the now and releasing guilt and shame about the past is even more important. I shall be working through my group program to do this.

I shall also be offering FREE New Moon intention calls to help with this process even if you choose not to work with me at an even deeper level. But my BE In Tune With The Moon Circle is where the deep transformational and mindful work comes in.

All this will help me to work in a more focussed area and help me to mother my daughters in a more mindful and present way.

The Uranus/Pluto has been painful and transformational for this family. How about you? What has been your experience over the last few years? What was hidden that has been revealed? What has been transformed?

 

 

 

My free call is tomorrow (April 14 at 10 am MDT) - you can find details as I send this out to my email list or you can find details in my FREE Facebook group, Louise Edingston’s Cosmic Connections. Hope to see you there!