The Shadow of Needy

The Shadow of Needy

The Shadow of Need It’s time to declare that I am needy. All my life I have attracted needy people in my life because it took me a while to acknowledge that I am needy too. I won’t go into my history because my soul chose this life. It chose the time, date and place of birth and the family I was born into. My soul chose to be born with Capricorn rising and Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn, conjunct making me a double Capricorn rising. Capricorn rising are seen as reserved, a little stand offish, competent and diligent. As children they are seen as ‘the responsible one’. And that was me. Oldest child with three younger brothers. Babysitting from a very young age. Always worked HARD from a very young age. Always felt responsible. All my life I have struggled with the other side of this. Fear that I am not enough. Which, is of course, complete BS, we are all enough. This caused me to try to prove that I was so very powerful and strong ALL THE TIME! I put up walls with friendships because I feared that if I dropped the walls and showed vulnerability and neediness that I would be rejected. And I rejected those friendships that I saw as too needy. I fear being seen as weak. I fear that I am not enough. Because of this fear I do weird things like showing up at my networking group without business cards or a clear need to ask the group for. I come across as ‘I am a better than you’. Aloof and distant...
The Power of Scorpio

The Power of Scorpio

We probably all know by now that we are in Mercury Retrograde. In fact I wrote about it in Mercury Retrograde and First World Problems. In Scorpio this is powerful and deep and the Scorpio energy is about to get stronger so I thought it was time to write about the power of Scorpio generally and how to manage and benefit from this energy.   Later today (22nd October 2013) the sun will move into Scorpio shining it’s light on this powerful energy. We’ll have Sun, North Node of Fate, Saturn and Mercury all in this powerful water sign. And then, on Nov 3 we also have a Solar Eclipse at 11 degrees Scorpio. Added to this, Scorpios ruler Pluto is in a powerful square with Uranus in Aries. I’ll go more into what each of these means over time in my weekly video reports that I email out to my subscribers so if you want even more information about this and other upcoming energies sign up now over on the right!   As I said in my previous post we are being asked to have some really deep, deep reflection time right now. But reflect on what?   Enough of the astrology and more about the feeling because Scorpio IS a water sign and is ALL about feeling.   Scorpio energy is about deeply bonded relationships. It’s about power and powerlessness. It’s passion and resourcefulness. It’s intensity and magnetism. It’s manipulation and obsession. It’s jealousy and loyalty. Scorpio is deeply sensitive and intuitive. Scorpio is secretive and private.   Scorpio is the realm of the deep psyche, therapy,...

Harnessing Cosmic Energies or Doom and Gloom?

I was inspired to talk about my approach to astrology. Many see astrology as doom and gloom and that many follow their ‘stars’ like puppets. They believe that if the stars say it’s going to be a bad day then it will be. I prefer to talk about harnessing energies. This topic first formed in my mind after the reaction to my last blog post Travel and Mercury Retrograde: Who Thought That Was A Good Idea. So many people seemed sorry for me!! Either I’m really not very funny or I painted a bleak picture. So I would like to expand. I looked upon the things that happened on my trip as yes, a manifestion of the retrograde, but also as a sign that I was not working with the energies. I was not reflecting and reviewing certain areas of my life. Non of the incidents were REALLY bad. I just thought they made a good and funny story. I got my message from it all, learned an astrological lesson and made lemonade out of it by writing a funny blog post. What I believe is that there is a yin and yang to everything. A shine and shadow, a high road and low road. ‘Fortunate’ aspects also have a negative side and ‘challenging’ aspects have a positive. Nothing is wholly good or bad. We are all energy, the universe is sacred geometry and we contain it all. We are universal energy and that sacred geometry flows in and through us. As above, so below, as within, so without. For example we are in the midst of ‘fortunate’ aspects...

Overcoming Fear and Becoming Fearless

I have discussed many aspects of overcoming fear on this blog over time. A simple search in the search box on the right will lead you to many posts. What is fear really though? What is being fearless? I thought I would explore these topics further. Fear has been described as many things and many acronyms are bandied about the internet. ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’, ‘Forget Everything and Run’ and ‘Face Everything and Rise’ are just three that jump to mind. These are simplistic in my opinion. Some fears are healthy. If you are walking alone and night and you hear someone following you and they stop when you stop and run when you run, then it’s a healthy reaction to be fearful. If someone comes at you with a knife fear is also a healthy reaction. It’s what happens to you when you are fearful that is more important. If fear paralyzes you then you are unable to deal with a situation. I was once trailed by a car with four guys in when I was a teen. I felt fear but instead of panicking I walked up the driveway to a random house and rang the doorbell. The car drove off and I waited until I was sure they were gone before walking the rest of the way home. I didn’t let it paralyze me or let it rule my life, however. I did continue to walk home. We lived in a generally safe area, it was before cell phones and I was too young to drive. No way was I going to let this stop me...