Suicide and Scorpio

This week astrologically is a very Scorpio/Pluto influenced week, I have very strong Scorpio/Pluto placements in my chart so I am going to tell you a story that is about a normally taboo (Scorpio) subject. Something that has been long buried and it’s finally time to transform (Pluto) this story. It is also National Suicide Prevention Week so you might have some idea where this is going. This could be my longest blog post ever so apologies. There is no quick and easy way to tell this story.   I was 14 and mixed up living in troubled times in Northern Ireland in 1974. Yes, right in the middle of the ‘troubles’. Never felt that anyone ‘got’ me. I was seen as capable and given a lot of responsibility over my three younger brothers from an early age. Beneath that mask of capability I didn’t FEEL capable. I was a freedom and truth seeking rebel who questioned everything.   I remember the medicine cupboard being on the left behind the kitchen door as you looked out of the windows overlooking the front garden. My family have never been big pill poppers so all I could find was aspirin. I took a lot. About 30 I believe. In my young and mixed up mind I thought I would go to bed and never wake up. It was an impulsive move. I don’t remember planning it.   I couldn’t get to sleep though. I got really scared. What if this hurt? What if I haven’t taken enough? Would aspirin really do the job? What have I done? I lay there crying....