The Shadow of Needy

The Shadow of Needy

The Shadow of Need It’s time to declare that I am needy. All my life I have attracted needy people in my life because it took me a while to acknowledge that I am needy too. I won’t go into my history because my soul chose this life. It chose the time, date and place of birth and the family I was born into. My soul chose to be born with Capricorn rising and Saturn, the ruler of Capricorn, conjunct making me a double Capricorn rising. Capricorn rising are seen as reserved, a little stand offish, competent and diligent. As children they are seen as ‘the responsible one’. And that was me. Oldest child with three younger brothers. Babysitting from a very young age. Always worked HARD from a very young age. Always felt responsible. All my life I have struggled with the other side of this. Fear that I am not enough. Which, is of course, complete BS, we are all enough. This caused me to try to prove that I was so very powerful and strong ALL THE TIME! I put up walls with friendships because I feared that if I dropped the walls and showed vulnerability and neediness that I would be rejected. And I rejected those friendships that I saw as too needy. I fear being seen as weak. I fear that I am not enough. Because of this fear I do weird things like showing up at my networking group without business cards or a clear need to ask the group for. I come across as ‘I am a better than you’. Aloof and distant...
Astrology, Death and Disillusionment

Astrology, Death and Disillusionment

I’m pissed, disillusioned and a little sad. I have thought and thought about writing this but I need to release it and give my thoughts. A well known Astrologer has twice made statements that I feel to be irresponsible and I feel the need to state how I would handle it. The first was that during a Pluto transit of the first house you could die. Well I have Pluto transiting my first house. Admittedly it’s there until I am 74 but I love my life and like the thought that I might be around for longer if I’m fit and healthy. But the words stuck. The second was that Pluto in the eighth house means that a partner will die. I also have Pluto in the eighth house. Now, I am not afraid of death. It’s a certainty for all of us until some scientist manages to come up with the secret to everlasting life. Which I am not sure I would even want anyway. It’s also obvious that many of us will have partners that die. Kind of a 50/50 chance that the partner will go first right? Okay mathematicians don’t bite me. There may be a statistic that proves which partner is likely to go first. But you get the picture! It’s my belief that making that flippant a statement is not the thing to do in a public forum or a personal reading. In a debate amongst astrologers it may be okay to discuss things like this as a possibility. Because that’s all they are. Pluto is deeper than that. I really don’t want to...

Trust, Acceptance and Gratitude in the Face of Tragedy

We all know by now about the horrific tornado in Moore, OK and something got me thinking about trust, acceptance and gratitude in the face of disaster. As an astrologer I was not surprised by something like this happening right in the middle of Eclipse season and right on the third of seven Uranus/Pluto squares. Eclipse energy is intense at the best of times but this series of three that ends with the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius on Friday has felt more intense than usual. Also Uranus is the planet of shocking sudden events and Pluto unearths things. How much clearer could this point to a whole swath of a town being ripped up from the ground. I don’t only want to talk about astrology today, however. I would like to talk about a video that went viral today. And that is this video of a woman, a Tornado Survivor finding her dog during a TV Interview. http://news.sky.com/story/1093711/tornado-survivor-finds-dog-during-tv-interview Finding the dog was a beautiful story, of course, and it brought tears of joy to my eyes. It wasn’t that that struck me though. It was the womans sweet soul and demeanor. There was no drama, no ‘why me’, no ‘I’m in shock’. There was complete acceptance that, as she said, ‘this is life’ and that she ‘knew exactly what had happened’. You got a real sense that this woman will deal with this tragedy and get on with her life. Her most notable comment was ‘I’m okay‘. I LOVE this woman. Others might be crying about how they have lost everything but not this woman. She gave...