The three days were filled with fun, deep bonding, belly dancing, meditations, kick ass coaching and strategies, breakthroughs, drum circles, Access Consciousness tools and so much love. My heart has grown and, even though I am on a high, I miss that space.
So why do I feel Like a fraud?
Well, I don’t really.
Not to you.
I feel as if I have been defrauding myself with a big lie that I released at the event.
For a long time I was a little mouse. HATED speaking in front of groups.
I would get exhausted and a headache after a full day at an event and spending so much time around people.
I even got up on the stage on Day 1 and announced that I am shy and an introvert.
What a load of bullcrap.
I was afraid.
Afraid of being visible.
Afraid of speaking my truth.
Afraid of not being enough.
Afraid of Success.
Hiding behind my computer where it feels safe to be visible. I know that is counter intuitive for some of you but that’s my truth.
But something shifted.
It started when I had my Bars run. I felt the shift. But it was the wholeness of this amazing event that contributed. As I had my Bars run, Angella Johnson, was speaking about using the clearing statement to release different things.
And I decided to release the story that I am shy and an introvert.
I am not suggesting I will never need to retreat after a full day around people. I think I will.
Because I believe it’s the fact I am an empath that brings on the introversion when I don’t manage the energy well.
There was NOTHING introverted about me when I was in such a loving space.
On the third day I was on the stage again. I went on to the song ‘Born To Be Wild’ and I danced, got the whole room up dancing and sang. For quite a while! And I realized that the lie, the fraud is gone.
So things are different. I am changed.
I already have another live speaking engagement arranged and will be doing workshops in my home starting with a workshop called ‘Finding Your Lost Wild Woman: Lilith In Your Chart’.
Because my Lilith is all about speaking, teaching and fun! She’s pretty wild.
I did another release around this on last nights Capricorn Full Moon. The transformation continues.
No more defrauding myself.
I am enough.
How do you feel about this? I feel the more we tell ourselves something the more we become it. Is there anything you tell yourself that might not be true?
I would love to hear your stories below in the comments!
And I made a little video about the event - less than two minutes long. Have a listen! Maybe you will join me there next year!